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textbooks attempting to be racially diverse will always be the funniest thing 

chow liung pao and shyniqua went to the supermarket


i hate when you’re not in the same mood as your friend like when you want to slay your enemies and feast on their flesh and your friend wants to dance in a field of daisies and sing for the sake of singing like no stop that grab a pitchfork




once i accidentally called 999 and my brother was shouting “im gonna kill you” at his video game in the background and to cut a long story short 20 minutes later 2 police officers showed up at my house to check out a potential murder and this is why i hate my life

I think it’s 911…

i think i live in england…



in the uk we have these sweets called maoam and the packaging is this little green character that looks like its having sex with fruit



My internet was down for 5 minutes so i went downstairs and spoke to my family

They seem like nice people